A conversation between me and the Boy, held last night.
Me: Wanna hear about something freaky I found on the internets?
Boy: Uh. Sure. I think.
Me: Michael Phelps SWITCHPLATES.
Boy: (looks excited) Really?!
Me: What. Why are you so happy about this? You're scaring me.
Boy: Dude, that's bitchin! (makes a stabbing motion) Bam! You just got stabbed -- by Michael Phelps, bitch!
Me: (laughing) Oh my God, no, I said switchplates, not switchblades!
Boy: (disappointed) Aw, damn. That would've been awesome. (makes stabbing motion again) I just stabbed you AND I won eight gold medals! (thinks quietly for a moment) So ... switchplates?
Me: Yeah, like for light switches. I looked through them and was thinking that they totally missed out on some hilarious places to put the switches.
Boy: Like putting the dual switches on his arms, so when he's swimming, his arms flip up and down.
Transcribing this is convincing me that someone really needs to do this. I might consider buying one just for the novelty value of being able to flip Michael's "arms".