Tuesday, April 14, 2009

What's in a Name?

Dear No One in Particular,

Last night, the Boy and I stayed up until 2:30 am talking about baby names.

Hold on -- let me be perfectly clear, in case someone I know finds this: I am not pregnant. I am so far from having children, I am not joking. I don't think I can handle a dog right now, much less a miniature human.

Ok, moving on. Back to the story.

So, for whatever reason, we were talking about what we would name our totally hypothetical future children. I love the Boy, but he's not allowed to name anything. He came up with some really awful options* but my favourite was far and away "Christian" for a boy.

The Boy's last name has very strong ties to the Roman Coliseum. Normally, this is just a neat little factoid about his family history. Yet with the first name "Christian" tacked onto it, it becomes a slightly different story: it is believed that many early Christians were executed in the Coliseum, oddly making it a holy, yet gruesome, place for modern Christians.

The hypothetical name is totally hilarious when taken as a whole, considering the Boy's surname and its connotations to the Coliseum's bloody history. Naturally, the Boy was delighted by the history lesson our hypothetical son's name would bear, especially since this apparently isn't common knowledge? So while most would think nothing of it, a handful would consider us to be either totally insensitive or big fans of gallows humour. I agreed so long as his middle name would be Leo.

Now I can't help but think that if our names shape who we are, what kind of person would a son saddled with such a name be like?


*One of the suggestions? Wyatt. Totally serious. Yes, that would be a perfect name, especially if we have another boy named Jethro. They can play dueling banjos and and run around in overalls with no shirts on.


Brittney said...

Please, for the love of all that is holy, please do not name your (hypothetical future unborn) child Christian.



Every. Single. Problem student I have ever dealt with? Was named Christian. I'm not even lying. It's like a curse.

amanda said...

@Brittney: I had a problem student named Christian! He was so smart, yet so ... troubled? He was only 11 years old and was "claiming colours". I had to break up a gang fight he was in by threatening to call the cops. So yeah, no on Christian.

mighty jo said...

an ex of mine (named travis) named his boy "wiley" coyote? you may ask....

Diana said...


amanda said...

@mighty jo: At least he's the only Wiley he knows? But yeah, as soon as I hear "Wiley", I immediately think "Coyote". Probably not the best decision.

@Diana: This is probably a bad thing, but I believe that middle names don't really matter. If I were tripped out enough, I would give a son the middle name "Jethro". It would make me laugh every time I filled out a form for him.

mighty jo said...

regarding your comment on middle names--i confess, im the one in my present relationship who had to be told "no" about names. as it is i got away naming our boys:
finian eternal sky walker &
sawyer shawnee sky walker
(i know you havent seen STAR WARS but i am a STAR WARS geek)

Vanessa said...

Oh, gosh, I'm trying to remember what baby name my boyfriend suggested that I had to say "NO NO NO NO NO!" to. Damn.

As it stands now, we've decided that SOMEDAY when we have kids (fingers crossed that our relationship continues to that point, of course) that we want two, and if we have one boy and one girl they'll be Damien Riley and Delilah Rose. The boy's name is a combination of his two top choices, and the girl's is a combo of mine. The original reason this would be adorable was that his last name begins with "B" and that if he and I both got doctorates eventually, we'd be a family of Dr. B's. Ha.

Sal said...

I kinda love Wyatt. Banjo or no!

amanda said...

@mighty jo: That is awesome! If I had the last name Walker, I would do exactly what you did.

@Vanessa: Those are such pretty names! They have a great flow. Let me know if you remember the bad name. ;)

@Sal: I can't help but think about Wyatt Earp and shootouts in the Old Wet when I hear "Wyatt". The Boy's reasoning for suggesting it was that he knew a kid named Wyatt. He also knew a boy named Zoltan -- doesn't mean I'm going for it!