Dear No One in Particular,
I am a huge fan of infomericals. I think they're hilarious, and if they're good (or at the very least, ubiquitous), I'll consider buying whatever they're shilling. I blame this on my mother, who is Billy Mays's dream customer. She'll buy almost anything, so long as she can convince herself she really does need a special chair to help her wiggle her way to a smaller waist. But this isn't about her -- not yet, at least.
Ok some background information: I am a hirsute lady. I'm not about to join a sideshow or anything, but I've always been aware of -- and therefore painfully self-conscious of -- my general furriness. No joke, I've met men with less arm hair than me.*
Only recently have I adopted an "Eh, fuck it" attitude about these things, but that changed when I saw the informercial for that best-selling European depilatory product, Smooth Away. $10 and I can have the hairless arms I've always wanted?! Jiminy Cricket was right: when your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme. My request? Not looking like Teen Wolf.
About a week after my television beamed video of some toothy dame gleefully rubbing her hair off her arm into my living room, I traipsed into my local As Seen On TV store and was greeted with the glorious sight of a Smooth Away display. I eagerly grabbed one of the shiny pink-and-white boxes, daydreaming of my soon-to-be naked arms.
When I got home, I opened up the package to find a little blue plastic oval with something that looked like fine-grain sandpaper stuck to one side. It reminded me a bit of a curry comb, only more industrial.
I decided to try it out on my legs before I moved to virgin territory. I followed the directions, gently rubbing the Smooth Away in circular motions over my skin. It took a bit of time, but it did what it advertised: it removed the hair and left smooth, if slightly grey, skin in its place.
So emboldened, I went to town on my forearms. Again, it took some time (probably somewhere in the vicinity of 45 minutes) and a lot of effort, but my arms! They were bare! I danced around my apartment singing "Nooo hair! Nooo hair!" for about five minutes before the burning set in.
That's right: burning.
I don't know why I was so surprised (although, in my defense, the ad did say it was "painless"), since I was rubbing my hair off with "superfine crystals". My arms hurt so badly, the Boy suggested I apply some aloe vera to soothe the irritated skin. I don't know what happened, but "soothe" the aloe did not. It felt like I had dipped my arms into carbolic acid. I spent the rest of the night with ice packs on my forearms, whimpering about what went wrong.
We eventually chalked it up to applying too much pressure when rubbing with the Smooth Away pad. It sounded plausible enough, so a week later, after the burning subsided and the hair grew back, I (idiotically) tried again. Despite my best efforts to be as gentle as possible, the burning returned, and this time, it brought friends! Along with the pain, redness and rash decided to join the party. More weeping, more ice packs, etc. I decided that the Smooth Away people were sadists -- rich sadists, no doubt -- and liars, so I ended up tossing the whole lot.
Two weeks later, I get a call from my mother.**
Mom: You know that hair remover you bought? Rub Off? Hair Away?
Me: Close; Smooth Away. What about it?
Mom: I saw it at Walgreens and decided to try it!
Me: What? Why? I told you about what happened to me.
Mom: Yes, but that was you. I wanted to try it anyway. So, I bought it a while ago but I forgot I had it until last night. I wanted to try it on my moustache.***
Me: Oh God.
Mom: So I rubbed like the thing said and it hurt!
Me: Why didn't you believe me? I told you.
Mom: [swears that I shall not translate] And then, when I woke up this morning, it was all red! Really, really RED. And I had little ... you know, spots? Like pimples. ALL ON MY UPPER LIP.
Me: *can't breathe, I'm laughing so hard*
Mom: WHY YOU LAUGH? DON'T LAUGH. I had pimples! RED PIMPLES all over my lip. I didn't know what to do! Oh God, Aman, I had a big meeting this afternoon, and I was talking to, you know, a manager, and she couldn't stop staring at my lip! She was giving me this ... look ... like she was so grossed out. She was so grossed out.
Me: *gasping for breath* Stop! I have to go to the bathroom!
Mom: Oh. My. God, I looked AWFUL. It kept getting worse as the day went on, too. And that's not the worst part.
Me: You're kidding.
Mom: I was talking to my coworker, and I told her about the Smooth Away, and how it made my skin blister and she said "Oh, thank God. I was going to ask my husband to get me some tonight, and now I know to stay away." BECAUSE OF ME.
Me: She owes you $10.
Mom: I'm the opposite of a billboard for Smooth Away!
Moral of the story: Smooth Away is terrible. I can't get over how something so simple caused so much pain. For all the irritation, I'd rather wax and have the results last longer.
Anyone else try it and have a positive experience?
--amanda
____________________
*I've also met men who insist on pointing this out. Yes, I have hair on my arms, thank you for pointing that out. You will have intense pain in your groin in 3 ... 2 ...
** She'll probably kill me for telling this story, so shhh! She already thinks I'm the Bad Seed.
***Her word, not mine.
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Things I Haven't Bought, But Still Love
Dear No One in Particular,
Since I've found myself sans employment and with more free time than I know what to do with, I've decided to be slightly more productive and not wile the hours away by watching Top Model marathons on cable television. Because honestly? Ty-Ty is rotting my brain. The other day, the Boy was telling me a story and I picked up on some random detail and responded with "You know, that reminds me of when I was 16, 17 and a young model in Paris and I was all alone and the girls were so mean, but you know what? I stuck with it and now I'm here and I'm a top model, coaching all you girls to be top models, too, especially if you can smile with your eyes. Who wants a weave?"
Yeah, that was the exact moment I knew I needed a new way to fill the hours.
So I'm going to implement an actual schedule for Blog For No One in Particular. I'll do my best to post something interesting at least twice a week, so there'll be no more month-long stretches between verbose essays on the state of popular culture as regurgitated by the Interwebs.
All righty then. The credit for this post comes from the lovely Inkytwist at Lemon Love. She recently posted a list of things she's got a yen for. So inspired, I decided to create a list of things that kindle the fire of consumerism deep inside me.
Let's go Windows shopping, shall we?
Someone get my swooning bottle!
MAC feeds my drag queen sensibilities.
I'm hapa, which means I have a hell of a time finding flattering makeup. Lipstick, on me, tends to go one of three ways: a) it doesn't show up at all; b) it looks like I've borrowed the tube from a porn star; c) it looks 80's-tastic bright fuschia. None of these are looks I am aiming for.
Cyd Charisse was a goddess. Don't let anyone tell you different.
I mean, honestly.
Is that swooning bottle still on hand?
I love that she needs to stand on tip-toe to smack the paparazzo.
Adorable AND in need of anger management, bless her wee heart.
Nigella is Love.
Hello ... is it you I'm looking for?
That'll be it for me. Anything caught your eye? What are you craving? What can't you live without?
--amanda
______________________________
*Baz Luhrman is an immensely talented director, but a little heavy-handed with the schmaltz as a screenwriter. Nicole Kidman needs to put the Botox needle down; she's killing her career as she freezes her face.
**Only I'm much shorter, as if you shrunk Nigella in the dryer instead of taking her to the dry cleaners like the care label said.
Since I've found myself sans employment and with more free time than I know what to do with, I've decided to be slightly more productive and not wile the hours away by watching Top Model marathons on cable television. Because honestly? Ty-Ty is rotting my brain. The other day, the Boy was telling me a story and I picked up on some random detail and responded with "You know, that reminds me of when I was 16, 17 and a young model in Paris and I was all alone and the girls were so mean, but you know what? I stuck with it and now I'm here and I'm a top model, coaching all you girls to be top models, too, especially if you can smile with your eyes. Who wants a weave?"
Yeah, that was the exact moment I knew I needed a new way to fill the hours.
So I'm going to implement an actual schedule for Blog For No One in Particular. I'll do my best to post something interesting at least twice a week, so there'll be no more month-long stretches between verbose essays on the state of popular culture as regurgitated by the Interwebs.
All righty then. The credit for this post comes from the lovely Inkytwist at Lemon Love. She recently posted a list of things she's got a yen for. So inspired, I decided to create a list of things that kindle the fire of consumerism deep inside me.
Let's go Windows shopping, shall we?
- Any necklace from Leviticus Jewelry. I absolutely love this shop and would eagerly cherish any bauble tossed my way. I am quite enamoured with the Love Letter and Secret Detective necklaces, but the Shark Attack necklace gave me a case of the vapours.
Someone get my swooning bottle!- To make a decision about my calling cards. Yes, really. This completely unimportant bit of utter nonsense is still driving me up the wall. I can't make a decision to save my life, and I'm still waffling about the design. Really, this should read: some Xanax and a pin the tail on the calling card game.
- The perfect pink lipstick.
MAC feeds my drag queen sensibilities.- To watch Singin' in the Rain. Simple pleasures, folks, simple pleasures.
Cyd Charisse was a goddess. Don't let anyone tell you different.- Hugh Jackman. I suffered through that festering sore, Australia*, simply because he starred in it. The least he can do is thank me by showing up on my doorstep. Shirtless. As Wolverine.
I mean, honestly.Is that swooning bottle still on hand?
- The new(ish) Lily Allen CD. Yeah, it's been out a while now, but I still haven't gotten it. I adore Lily and her adorable girl/foul mouth shtick.
I love that she needs to stand on tip-toe to smack the paparazzo.Adorable AND in need of anger management, bless her wee heart.
- The Pleats dress in Eggplant from Stop Staring! Or this dress. Or this dress. Or this dress. Or this one. I'm built along the lines of my hero, Nigella Lawson**, so structured dresses are key to making my curves stand out. I love Stop Staring!'s vintage styling. It makes it easier for me to channel Joan Holloway, my other hero.
Nigella is Love.- Black ballet flats. For someone who loves shoes, I don't own a pair of basic black ballet flats. I've been looking for a pair for, oh, a year now and I haven't found one that fits my specifications. I want a pair that show off some toe cleavage (ugh, that phrase), are well-crafted, and have some support to them. Any recommendations?
Hello ... is it you I'm looking for?That'll be it for me. Anything caught your eye? What are you craving? What can't you live without?
--amanda
*Baz Luhrman is an immensely talented director, but a little heavy-handed with the schmaltz as a screenwriter. Nicole Kidman needs to put the Botox needle down; she's killing her career as she freezes her face.
**Only I'm much shorter, as if you shrunk Nigella in the dryer instead of taking her to the dry cleaners like the care label said.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Kindling
Dear No One in Particular,
I was not an early fan of the Amazon Kindle. Honestly, I was pretty darn anti-Kindle up until Christmas Day, when I was lucky enough to receive one from my long-suffering mother.
You see, I live in constant fear that I will be killed by my personal library. I have hundreds of books in dozens of places; I've moved a lot recently, so I not only have over-stuffed bookshelves at my parents' home, groaning and threatening to buckle under the weight, I have bookshelves at my apartment doing the same. Plus, I have boxes of books scattered throughout both locations, the majority of which I can not lift because books are freaking heavy.
Naturally, these books do not just accumulate on shelves. I am rarely without a personal reading book (as opposed to the ones I'm forced to read for school, which I carry around on the regular as well). Like I said, books are heavy, so my left shoulder is permanently higher than the right. No really. It is. Hairdressers and doctors comment on it all the time. I blame carrying around giant, overstuffed purses loaded with books.
So you can see why the Kindle was such a great gift choice for me: it can hold hundreds, thousands of books in a single device. No more bookshelves spewing trade paperbacks! No more hunchbacked daughter whining that her neck hurts!
But I was firmly against the Kindle and its e-book reader brethren.
Books are so much more than a simple vehicle for the written word, as any true bibliophile knows. I love books, I really do. The heft of a well-made hardback sagging in the palm of my hand; the flexibility of a trade paperback, the thin pages bouncing and flapping in the breeze; the smell of paper, glue and imagination -- these are what make a book so wonderful. I love the feel of a page slipping through my fingers as I turn ahead. The deep black ink's stark contrast to the crisp white page. The Kindle can't begin to hope to replicate small moments like these.
And I don't think it means to. In a world that has become increasingly dependent on electronics, the Kindle seeks to do what all extraneous gadgets do: simplify and accelerate.
I keep mentioning that I was not a fan of the Kindle and had no interest in purchasing one. My feet were firmly planted on the side of Team Book. Now ... ? Now, I'm a little bit in love with my Kindle. What changed? I held a Kindle in my hands, downloaded a couple of books, fidgeted with the features, and had my world rocked.
This is not to say that the Kindle is perfect. Far from it, really, and I don't think that it's newest incarnation, Kindle 2, is going to be the e-book reader to convert all of Team Book. But I can not deny its charms.
First of all, it's thin, thinner than most paperbacks, and it's really lightweight. This frees up a ton of space in my bag, which makes my doctors (and mother) rejoice. I'm one of those people who, if I'm nearing the end of a book, will carry an extra so I'm never without reading material. The Kindle simplifies my life by putting both books in a single device.
This is another huge selling point: the capacity, which is easily increased with a memory card. I could hold thousands of books in my little Kindle, something I would never be able to do with real books.
Another feature that's especially appealing for me is the annotations feature. I know some think it's absolutely blasphemous to write in books (my father is one), but I like putting little notes or highlights in the margins. It's something I started with school books and have transferred over to pleasure reading. The Kindle allows you to electronically highlight, bookmark, and annotate your reading; it stores the notes in a separate file, so they're easily accessible -- no flipping through pages in search of that one really awesome quote.
This, with the capacity, could change college textbooks forever. Seriously, publishers: Kindles for university students. It's the wave of the future.
Like I said, the Kindle isn't perfect. It's flaws are many. It can be downright irritating at times.
The button layout on the Kindle 1.0 is maddening. There are very few places one can hold the bare Kindle (sans some sort of hard cover) without pressing some button and thus directing you away from the current screen. 2/3 of the right side is comprised of the "next page" button, while the left side is split between the "next page" and "previous page" buttons. Ok, it's really nice to be able to move forward or back with either hand, but the immense buttons make it difficult to hold the Kindle.
This has been rectified with the Kindle 2.0, which has smaller buttons that are angled inward, supposedly making it harder to accidentally navigate away from the current screen (so says Amazon).
Oh, and before you ask: no, I'm not going to trade up. I have a Kindle and I'm kind of in love with it, remember? We're totally going steady -- why would I cheat on it? But more on that later.
Another feature that the new Kindle supposedly improved upon is the sharper display. This is one of my big beefs with the Kindle: pictures suck on its screen. Covers look really funky, all washed out and blurry; I wanted to read Carrie Fisher's "Wishful Drinking", but after skimming the sample and realising that the book was photo-heavy, and that the Kindle couldn't hack it, I ended up buying the real book. Seriously, the Kindle was like Tom Hanks's character in The Terminal, all awkward and pathetic.
And that right there folks, is the crux of my love affair with the Kindle: it can do some really snazzy things that I simply can't do with regular books (instantly look up words in a dictionary or Wikipedia, for example), but it pales in comparison with good old-fashioned books. I have to admit that being able to carry a 400+ page tome in a skinny handheld device is pretty nifty though, and I do read faster on a Kindle than a traditional book.
Yet the truth remains: I'm not going to stop buying real books, and I'm definitely not going to stop frequenting libraries, or as I call them "magical oases of love and awesome". Sure, e-books, on the whole, are cheaper than regular books (some are free! But then, some are just as pricey), but I can't hand my Kindle to someone and say "here, you HAVE to read this book!" There's no sharing with the Kindle.
They simply lack the tactile greatness of traditional books, and that is something they will never ever be able to replicate.
What I would like to see from future Kindles: back-lit screens, like a computer or cell phone. Those idiotic flashlight-lamp hybrids are ridiculous on books, they're equally (if not more so) as ridiculous for Kindles. I would also love to see a Kindle library. Sure, you can download samples (which are often useless, since publishing info and table of contents tend to take up the majority of a sample), but what I'm talking about is a buy-in service, kind of like a Netflix for e-books. For a set price per month, you can download as many books as you like. At the end of the month, you have the option of either paying for them, or just letting them be deleted from the Kindle memory, easy as pie.
And as for the uproar over the new and improved Kindle 2.0? As a Kindle 1.0 owner, I'm not bothered. Sure, I received mine a mere 2 months before the updated version came out, but I'm not about to write angry letters to Bezos demanding a discount on a Kindle 2 so I can trade in my Kindle 1.0. Technology moves forward, and in doing so, older products become obsolete. If Bezos does Kindle early-adopters a solid a la Apple and the iPhone, that'd be great! I'd love a credit to the Kindle Store as a thank you for drumming up the support necessary for the creation of Kindle 2.0*. If not, oh well. Anything else is just sour grapes.
So do I recommend the Kindle? Yes and no. The Kindle 1.0 has some real flaws and while the Kindle 2.0 seems to have improved on them, the fact remains that the Kindle is no replacement for traditional books. So long as you're cool with that, and you're looking to streamline your life, and you have the cash? Go for it. It's a nifty piece of technology with more pros than cons in my book.**
--amanda
--------------------------------------
*Not that I'm actually in that camp, as this post obviously points out. But it is something that's been kicked around on Amazon forums, and I think it would be a great idea, and not just because I want a credit. Take care of your customers, people!
**Pun absolutely intended.
I was not an early fan of the Amazon Kindle. Honestly, I was pretty darn anti-Kindle up until Christmas Day, when I was lucky enough to receive one from my long-suffering mother.
You see, I live in constant fear that I will be killed by my personal library. I have hundreds of books in dozens of places; I've moved a lot recently, so I not only have over-stuffed bookshelves at my parents' home, groaning and threatening to buckle under the weight, I have bookshelves at my apartment doing the same. Plus, I have boxes of books scattered throughout both locations, the majority of which I can not lift because books are freaking heavy.
Naturally, these books do not just accumulate on shelves. I am rarely without a personal reading book (as opposed to the ones I'm forced to read for school, which I carry around on the regular as well). Like I said, books are heavy, so my left shoulder is permanently higher than the right. No really. It is. Hairdressers and doctors comment on it all the time. I blame carrying around giant, overstuffed purses loaded with books.
So you can see why the Kindle was such a great gift choice for me: it can hold hundreds, thousands of books in a single device. No more bookshelves spewing trade paperbacks! No more hunchbacked daughter whining that her neck hurts!
But I was firmly against the Kindle and its e-book reader brethren.
Books are so much more than a simple vehicle for the written word, as any true bibliophile knows. I love books, I really do. The heft of a well-made hardback sagging in the palm of my hand; the flexibility of a trade paperback, the thin pages bouncing and flapping in the breeze; the smell of paper, glue and imagination -- these are what make a book so wonderful. I love the feel of a page slipping through my fingers as I turn ahead. The deep black ink's stark contrast to the crisp white page. The Kindle can't begin to hope to replicate small moments like these.
And I don't think it means to. In a world that has become increasingly dependent on electronics, the Kindle seeks to do what all extraneous gadgets do: simplify and accelerate.
I keep mentioning that I was not a fan of the Kindle and had no interest in purchasing one. My feet were firmly planted on the side of Team Book. Now ... ? Now, I'm a little bit in love with my Kindle. What changed? I held a Kindle in my hands, downloaded a couple of books, fidgeted with the features, and had my world rocked.
This is not to say that the Kindle is perfect. Far from it, really, and I don't think that it's newest incarnation, Kindle 2, is going to be the e-book reader to convert all of Team Book. But I can not deny its charms.
First of all, it's thin, thinner than most paperbacks, and it's really lightweight. This frees up a ton of space in my bag, which makes my doctors (and mother) rejoice. I'm one of those people who, if I'm nearing the end of a book, will carry an extra so I'm never without reading material. The Kindle simplifies my life by putting both books in a single device.
This is another huge selling point: the capacity, which is easily increased with a memory card. I could hold thousands of books in my little Kindle, something I would never be able to do with real books.
Another feature that's especially appealing for me is the annotations feature. I know some think it's absolutely blasphemous to write in books (my father is one), but I like putting little notes or highlights in the margins. It's something I started with school books and have transferred over to pleasure reading. The Kindle allows you to electronically highlight, bookmark, and annotate your reading; it stores the notes in a separate file, so they're easily accessible -- no flipping through pages in search of that one really awesome quote.
This, with the capacity, could change college textbooks forever. Seriously, publishers: Kindles for university students. It's the wave of the future.
Like I said, the Kindle isn't perfect. It's flaws are many. It can be downright irritating at times.
The button layout on the Kindle 1.0 is maddening. There are very few places one can hold the bare Kindle (sans some sort of hard cover) without pressing some button and thus directing you away from the current screen. 2/3 of the right side is comprised of the "next page" button, while the left side is split between the "next page" and "previous page" buttons. Ok, it's really nice to be able to move forward or back with either hand, but the immense buttons make it difficult to hold the Kindle.
This has been rectified with the Kindle 2.0, which has smaller buttons that are angled inward, supposedly making it harder to accidentally navigate away from the current screen (so says Amazon).
Oh, and before you ask: no, I'm not going to trade up. I have a Kindle and I'm kind of in love with it, remember? We're totally going steady -- why would I cheat on it? But more on that later.
Another feature that the new Kindle supposedly improved upon is the sharper display. This is one of my big beefs with the Kindle: pictures suck on its screen. Covers look really funky, all washed out and blurry; I wanted to read Carrie Fisher's "Wishful Drinking", but after skimming the sample and realising that the book was photo-heavy, and that the Kindle couldn't hack it, I ended up buying the real book. Seriously, the Kindle was like Tom Hanks's character in The Terminal, all awkward and pathetic.
And that right there folks, is the crux of my love affair with the Kindle: it can do some really snazzy things that I simply can't do with regular books (instantly look up words in a dictionary or Wikipedia, for example), but it pales in comparison with good old-fashioned books. I have to admit that being able to carry a 400+ page tome in a skinny handheld device is pretty nifty though, and I do read faster on a Kindle than a traditional book.
Yet the truth remains: I'm not going to stop buying real books, and I'm definitely not going to stop frequenting libraries, or as I call them "magical oases of love and awesome". Sure, e-books, on the whole, are cheaper than regular books (some are free! But then, some are just as pricey), but I can't hand my Kindle to someone and say "here, you HAVE to read this book!" There's no sharing with the Kindle.
They simply lack the tactile greatness of traditional books, and that is something they will never ever be able to replicate.
What I would like to see from future Kindles: back-lit screens, like a computer or cell phone. Those idiotic flashlight-lamp hybrids are ridiculous on books, they're equally (if not more so) as ridiculous for Kindles. I would also love to see a Kindle library. Sure, you can download samples (which are often useless, since publishing info and table of contents tend to take up the majority of a sample), but what I'm talking about is a buy-in service, kind of like a Netflix for e-books. For a set price per month, you can download as many books as you like. At the end of the month, you have the option of either paying for them, or just letting them be deleted from the Kindle memory, easy as pie.
And as for the uproar over the new and improved Kindle 2.0? As a Kindle 1.0 owner, I'm not bothered. Sure, I received mine a mere 2 months before the updated version came out, but I'm not about to write angry letters to Bezos demanding a discount on a Kindle 2 so I can trade in my Kindle 1.0. Technology moves forward, and in doing so, older products become obsolete. If Bezos does Kindle early-adopters a solid a la Apple and the iPhone, that'd be great! I'd love a credit to the Kindle Store as a thank you for drumming up the support necessary for the creation of Kindle 2.0*. If not, oh well. Anything else is just sour grapes.
So do I recommend the Kindle? Yes and no. The Kindle 1.0 has some real flaws and while the Kindle 2.0 seems to have improved on them, the fact remains that the Kindle is no replacement for traditional books. So long as you're cool with that, and you're looking to streamline your life, and you have the cash? Go for it. It's a nifty piece of technology with more pros than cons in my book.**
--amanda
--------------------------------------
*Not that I'm actually in that camp, as this post obviously points out. But it is something that's been kicked around on Amazon forums, and I think it would be a great idea, and not just because I want a credit. Take care of your customers, people!
**Pun absolutely intended.
Friday, October 3, 2008
La Cocinetta
Dear No One in Particular,
It's pretty well-acknowledged that I don't work well with most standard kitchens. I'm wee, see, and most counters are about 3-4 inches too tall for me. If I were to have a dream kitchen, most normal people would have to squat to wash their hands.
Which is why I think Pottery Barn might have a solution to my problem: a gourmet kitchen for children.*
Ok, ok: it's actually too small for me.** I feel like Goldilocks. Perhaps I should just buy some fabulous supplies from retail heaven, aka Anthropologie. Ooh, sale section!
--amanda
---------------
*First of all: where the hell was this when I was a kid? Not at Toys R Us, I assure you. Second of all: who the hell has $899 to spend on toys for their children? Please, come forward. With that kind of money, you can single-handedly bailout the economy. No new taxes!
**Yes, I busted out the measuring tape to check. Don't judge.
It's pretty well-acknowledged that I don't work well with most standard kitchens. I'm wee, see, and most counters are about 3-4 inches too tall for me. If I were to have a dream kitchen, most normal people would have to squat to wash their hands.
Which is why I think Pottery Barn might have a solution to my problem: a gourmet kitchen for children.*
Ok, ok: it's actually too small for me.** I feel like Goldilocks. Perhaps I should just buy some fabulous supplies from retail heaven, aka Anthropologie. Ooh, sale section!
--amanda
---------------
*First of all: where the hell was this when I was a kid? Not at Toys R Us, I assure you. Second of all: who the hell has $899 to spend on toys for their children? Please, come forward. With that kind of money, you can single-handedly bailout the economy. No new taxes!
**Yes, I busted out the measuring tape to check. Don't judge.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Cave + Bookshelf = LOVE
Dear No One in Particular,
You know how I said I found my dream home? It was missing something. Namely, this:
It's totally earned a spot in this bibliophile's heart. Now if I can find 5,000 Euro, it will have a spot in my home.
--amanda
You know how I said I found my dream home? It was missing something. Namely, this:
It's totally earned a spot in this bibliophile's heart. Now if I can find 5,000 Euro, it will have a spot in my home.
--amanda
Saturday, August 30, 2008
La Vida y la Muerte
Dear No One in Particular,
I feel a bit late to the party (again), but lord am I going bananas for Etsy.
I'm not completely new to Etsy, though. I bought a Christmas present for my mother last year from a seller. It was a great experience, really; the jewelry was beautifully handcrafted and reasonably priced. I don't know why I didn't really throw myself into the website until just recently, but I'm 100% thrown.
One of my absolute, hands-down favourite stores in the history of consumerism? ArtofSkulls. Despite the fact that they scared the poopie out of me as a kid, I'm now completely mad for Dia de los Muertos skulls. I want one in every colour and motif.
Really, this should come as no surprise, since they're a bit kitsch-y, tend to be obnoxiously coloured, and all-around over-the-top in terms of wall art. I'm not all that superficial: I really like that they celebrate death, not view it as something to be feared. Death should not be mourned as the passing of an individual, it should be a celebration of the amazing life they led! The fact that they are reminders of mortality isn't morbid -- it's a reminder to live a beautiful life.
Now, who wouldn't want that?
--amanda
P.S. I should admit that I already have calaveras art -- I bought a shadowbox/diorama while in Mexico City of calaveras mariachis serenading a lady calavera. I think that it'd go exceedingly well with whatever skull(s) I purchase.
P.P.S. If you're following my Twitter updates, I mentioned a painting of that the Boy did not approve of. Despite the fact that it's a camel, not a llama, I bought it earlier today. It was just too amazing. Good news for you, though: there's a pink and a green version of the same print.
I feel a bit late to the party (again), but lord am I going bananas for Etsy.
I'm not completely new to Etsy, though. I bought a Christmas present for my mother last year from a seller. It was a great experience, really; the jewelry was beautifully handcrafted and reasonably priced. I don't know why I didn't really throw myself into the website until just recently, but I'm 100% thrown.
One of my absolute, hands-down favourite stores in the history of consumerism? ArtofSkulls. Despite the fact that they scared the poopie out of me as a kid, I'm now completely mad for Dia de los Muertos skulls. I want one in every colour and motif.
Really, this should come as no surprise, since they're a bit kitsch-y, tend to be obnoxiously coloured, and all-around over-the-top in terms of wall art. I'm not all that superficial: I really like that they celebrate death, not view it as something to be feared. Death should not be mourned as the passing of an individual, it should be a celebration of the amazing life they led! The fact that they are reminders of mortality isn't morbid -- it's a reminder to live a beautiful life.
Now, who wouldn't want that?
--amanda
P.S. I should admit that I already have calaveras art -- I bought a shadowbox/diorama while in Mexico City of calaveras mariachis serenading a lady calavera. I think that it'd go exceedingly well with whatever skull(s) I purchase.
P.P.S. If you're following my Twitter updates, I mentioned a painting of that the Boy did not approve of. Despite the fact that it's a camel, not a llama, I bought it earlier today. It was just too amazing. Good news for you, though: there's a pink and a green version of the same print.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Must be funny in a rich man's world
Dear No One in Particular,
We're in a recession. That much is clear, even if the Bush admin lackeys refuse to say it in so many words. However, I am me, meaning that despite the fact that I know better, I continue to shop. Consider it my personal gift to the failing/flailing economy.
However. Should you decide to make your own contribution, any of these items would make a lovely gift. For me, natch. (What? They're all less than $10!)
xoxo
--amanda
We're in a recession. That much is clear, even if the Bush admin lackeys refuse to say it in so many words. However, I am me, meaning that despite the fact that I know better, I continue to shop. Consider it my personal gift to the failing/flailing economy.
However. Should you decide to make your own contribution, any of these items would make a lovely gift. For me, natch. (What? They're all less than $10!)
xoxo
--amanda
Monday, April 28, 2008
Terrorising my soul like Bin Laden
Dear No One in Particular,
Things are gearing up for FINALS WEEK (always in caps-lock, to mimic the terrified sound people make when speaking of finals), so I'm freaking out a bit. I've been doing really well so far, and there aren't many super-scary classes this semestre, so I'm not really too-too worried about the tests. It's the lack of time that's really killing me.
Quite a few interesting events have transpired here at the Casa de Amanda y the Boy:
-- The Boy's birthday was on Friday, and boy, was it a doozy. He wasn't feeling well, and we had to go to school, so he wasn't too happy about that. We did get to see Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, which was pretty darn funny, even though it didn't stand up to the original. We had a nice dinner, and he had a delicious cheesecake as his birthday dessert, so those were also nice. The bad part? None of his friends called. NONE. I was so livid, I sent an angry letter to one of his friends, demanding that he give the Boy an explanation. He's still a little pissy , but he's getting over it.
-- On a happier note that I had meant to mention earlier: do you know about Mario Badescu's sample program? All you do is fill out the questionnaire I've linked to, and a couple of days later, they shoot off an email, asking if you would like samples of your recommended products. A few days after that, free samples appear in your mailbox! I usually believe that nothing's free, but man if that isn't the greatest marketing ploy ever. They sent me about 10 products to try; I've yet to test any of them, since my current skin care regimen is working so well. I am planning on giving my skin a breather soon, and slowly integrating the Mario Badescu products.
-- Also: my shoes came today! They're wonderful, and a tiny bit tight. They definitely need to be broken in -- they're the only shoes I've ever needed to use a shoehorn with. Regardless, they look great, and there's a nice walkable heel. I can't wait to put together a million outfits to wear them with.
-- I feel as though I'm about 4 years late to the party, but I finally understand the glory of Ebay. This may sound completely ridiculous, but I've purposefully avoided Ebay auctions. I may or may not have a shopping addiction that would only be exacerbated by something as exciting as Ebay. Also, I'm a very high strung lap dog, and if I were to lose an auction, I'd probably whimper until I won something else. That said, the Boy and I bought season 3 of The Greatest Show Ever aka Las Vegas. He taught me how to watch the last minute of the auction like a freakin' hawk so we were sure to win that precious box set for a measly $15. Fabulous.
-- Finally, my vision is getting worse as I get older. I can't even watch TV without wearing glasses anymore. I predict that if this continues, I'll be wearing bifocals by the time I turn 25. Which is in 3 years. Holy jumping Jesus.
--amanda
Things are gearing up for FINALS WEEK (always in caps-lock, to mimic the terrified sound people make when speaking of finals), so I'm freaking out a bit. I've been doing really well so far, and there aren't many super-scary classes this semestre, so I'm not really too-too worried about the tests. It's the lack of time that's really killing me.
Quite a few interesting events have transpired here at the Casa de Amanda y the Boy:
-- The Boy's birthday was on Friday, and boy, was it a doozy. He wasn't feeling well, and we had to go to school, so he wasn't too happy about that. We did get to see Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, which was pretty darn funny, even though it didn't stand up to the original. We had a nice dinner, and he had a delicious cheesecake as his birthday dessert, so those were also nice. The bad part? None of his friends called. NONE. I was so livid, I sent an angry letter to one of his friends, demanding that he give the Boy an explanation. He's still a little pissy , but he's getting over it.
-- On a happier note that I had meant to mention earlier: do you know about Mario Badescu's sample program? All you do is fill out the questionnaire I've linked to, and a couple of days later, they shoot off an email, asking if you would like samples of your recommended products. A few days after that, free samples appear in your mailbox! I usually believe that nothing's free, but man if that isn't the greatest marketing ploy ever. They sent me about 10 products to try; I've yet to test any of them, since my current skin care regimen is working so well. I am planning on giving my skin a breather soon, and slowly integrating the Mario Badescu products.
-- Also: my shoes came today! They're wonderful, and a tiny bit tight. They definitely need to be broken in -- they're the only shoes I've ever needed to use a shoehorn with. Regardless, they look great, and there's a nice walkable heel. I can't wait to put together a million outfits to wear them with.
-- I feel as though I'm about 4 years late to the party, but I finally understand the glory of Ebay. This may sound completely ridiculous, but I've purposefully avoided Ebay auctions. I may or may not have a shopping addiction that would only be exacerbated by something as exciting as Ebay. Also, I'm a very high strung lap dog, and if I were to lose an auction, I'd probably whimper until I won something else. That said, the Boy and I bought season 3 of The Greatest Show Ever aka Las Vegas. He taught me how to watch the last minute of the auction like a freakin' hawk so we were sure to win that precious box set for a measly $15. Fabulous.
-- Finally, my vision is getting worse as I get older. I can't even watch TV without wearing glasses anymore. I predict that if this continues, I'll be wearing bifocals by the time I turn 25. Which is in 3 years. Holy jumping Jesus.
--amanda
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Brainfart
Dear No One in Particular,
I'm having one of those weekends. I think it's because of school; the semester is almost over, and the stress of taking 18 units is finally getting to me. It's kinda like senioritis, but I'm not graduating. I'm terrified to see what'll happen to my work ethic then. No, I'm just not with it today ... I'm making stupid mistakes because I can't be arsed to focus at all. I should be writing an analytical paper for my Mesoamerican History class, but instead, I'm piddling around the internet. I think I've written more in this blog entry than for the paper.
I've been trying my damnedest to avoid writing. I have to keep fighting back the thought that, since I have almost 100% in the class, I could maybe afford to not write the paper? That's terrible, though, and not at all a valid excuse.
So far, I've taken the longest shower in history, test driving a new hair care system (more on that later), failed at making blondies (but made something pretty tasty, anyway) and bought shoes. These shoes:
They toe the border between pretty and ugly and I love them. I stalked them online a bit before I went to the store to pick them up, but oddly, the local Forever 21 is renovating and maybe closing? No one could tell me if they were going to be closed, or for how long. Sadly, they only had one pair of these fabulous oxford heels in black (they had a ton in the ghastly multi-cream), but they were a size 5. They look ... decent, for a pair of Forever 21 heels. I really wanted something interesting-looking that could stand in for my beloved Bandolino wedge-heel boots (which are disturbingly grody-looking recently), and the oxfords are just too menswear-cool for me not to covet. I was also looking at these (black, natch. Who comes up with some of these colour combinations?!) but, again, they didn't have them in my size at the store. Oddly enough, the Boy LOVED them, but I ended up convincing myself I have no use for them. I have 1 -- maybe 2? -- dresses/outfits I can wear them with, but that's not reason enough for me to buy them.
I really need to write this paper. Why am I writing up a blog entry when I have a major deadline looming?, you may ask. It is, after all, the last major paper of the semester. I have this theory: once I clear my head of all the crap that's slushing around in my brain, I'll have no choice but to focus on my analysis of Mesoamerican Christian proselyting literature. That, and the lack of Top Model marathons should give me impetus to finish the damn thing. Here's hoping.
So, I shall leave you with this news bit: Harry Potter Fan Weeps on Stand During Rowling Suit. Made me simultaneously feel better about myself and scared me into getting on with my life.
--amanda
I'm having one of those weekends. I think it's because of school; the semester is almost over, and the stress of taking 18 units is finally getting to me. It's kinda like senioritis, but I'm not graduating. I'm terrified to see what'll happen to my work ethic then. No, I'm just not with it today ... I'm making stupid mistakes because I can't be arsed to focus at all. I should be writing an analytical paper for my Mesoamerican History class, but instead, I'm piddling around the internet. I think I've written more in this blog entry than for the paper.
I've been trying my damnedest to avoid writing. I have to keep fighting back the thought that, since I have almost 100% in the class, I could maybe afford to not write the paper? That's terrible, though, and not at all a valid excuse.
So far, I've taken the longest shower in history, test driving a new hair care system (more on that later), failed at making blondies (but made something pretty tasty, anyway) and bought shoes. These shoes:
They toe the border between pretty and ugly and I love them. I stalked them online a bit before I went to the store to pick them up, but oddly, the local Forever 21 is renovating and maybe closing? No one could tell me if they were going to be closed, or for how long. Sadly, they only had one pair of these fabulous oxford heels in black (they had a ton in the ghastly multi-cream), but they were a size 5. They look ... decent, for a pair of Forever 21 heels. I really wanted something interesting-looking that could stand in for my beloved Bandolino wedge-heel boots (which are disturbingly grody-looking recently), and the oxfords are just too menswear-cool for me not to covet. I was also looking at these (black, natch. Who comes up with some of these colour combinations?!) but, again, they didn't have them in my size at the store. Oddly enough, the Boy LOVED them, but I ended up convincing myself I have no use for them. I have 1 -- maybe 2? -- dresses/outfits I can wear them with, but that's not reason enough for me to buy them.
I really need to write this paper. Why am I writing up a blog entry when I have a major deadline looming?, you may ask. It is, after all, the last major paper of the semester. I have this theory: once I clear my head of all the crap that's slushing around in my brain, I'll have no choice but to focus on my analysis of Mesoamerican Christian proselyting literature. That, and the lack of Top Model marathons should give me impetus to finish the damn thing. Here's hoping.
So, I shall leave you with this news bit: Harry Potter Fan Weeps on Stand During Rowling Suit. Made me simultaneously feel better about myself and scared me into getting on with my life.
--amanda
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